Why

Gawd where was my mind all the quiz's. I am sane... Really... LOL I apologize for that. I was going to remove them, but then I though why the sudden addiction. The need for answers?. The need to post ?, it dawned on me. I haven’t had the best of months, I was sick with a chest infection for three weeks. Went to have time out on the family farm to have my brother try to commit suicide from depression (not once but twice) while this is happening a family death and funeral, (in a family that is already strained to max) then I return home to my youngest (2yrs) sick with Gastro Enteritis which quickly spread through the whole five of us...Yeah I’m still sane just had to check there for a moment. Stay with me this is going somewhere ! Well during that month my sex life has been well to put it in a lady like manner “shit” my internet access during this month has been little to non existent (Bad for a net junkie) My contact with people has been less than stimulating all my ‘people’ dealings have been sick or related to me, I was stressed and to put it in a nut shell Horny upon returning to my beloved internet connection I became disheartened a few site I frequented had gone to pay, yet again eaten up by the greed of the ever ending fast buck craze. I had uploaded the revamped collarncuffs site pages to find goggle still hated me and my literate computer skills. I was on a downer, and think, I myself might have been on the verge of Depression which was a new feeling for me balancing on the edge I’m always such a happy person although a little frayed and tired around the edges My online sub and real time partner were begging for attention and here was me spinning out of control. Not a good state of being for a Domme LOL still with me? ..Good. this is going somewhere...well all of the months happenings where gone and forgotten by doing to quiz's I got my net fix but it wasn't till I went to delete them that I had my revelation stress wasn't causing my (almost) depression ignoring my Femdom parts was the cause I started to think of the times I’ve had to ‘ignore “ my Femdom side and the realization hit. Although I have rarely ignored my fetish they were the worst times in my life. Made me wonder how many ‘people’ ignore their fetish ? it has made me more determined to make the site work ,so it did have an up side. Deep down I have always known this but never really let my fetish control me just accepted it as in ingrained part of me. Maybe its because I’m reaching my ‘so called’ sexual peak (approaching 40) that this ‘need’ is wanting to feast on a more frequent time span , who knows just goes to show you think you know yourself only to be surprised. I promise no more quiz’s and need you to promise me if you see them here on my Blog...send me a message and tell me to ‘go get fucked’ LOL