One of the forums I belong too brought a interesting thread to light on the topic of
If a mistress plays with another sub even in a non sexual way. Is it considered cheating ? And how does this make you feel ?
This forum was submissives only (Dom/mes are welcome to read)

I found the answers extremely interesting to say the least. Yes our life style has no set rules or guidelines other than safe sane and consensual...and politeness and respect are now taking a stand along side these in most BDSM/Femdom net activities.
The thread opened up conversation at My house one night. I have always had the 'right' to play with others (although I have kept this on a nonsexual basis by choice) I have always thought nothing off taking my cat to a willing participant/s in a sane safe and consensual agreement
..after all isn't that expectable behavior for a Domme?...after all isn't it about the Dommes wants and wills. Yes maybe in the fantasy fueled fodder of online D/s but in reality, in my house. My home. its real life My sub/slave is My possession yet still My best friend, He (they) meets my sexual needs... yet I still do his laundry!, its all about maintaining balance and finding what is right for you and what is right for your needs. But that’s just it. I subconsciously have always thought of My rights, My needs, I'm not saying I have not valued My sub/s. Just saying that I have never stepped back at looked at it for a sub's shoes after all I have been a sub. Why wasn't this an issue to me then. I had a master, he played with others. even played sexually. it was his 'right' ,his privilege, he was 'my' master, I was his. But looking back in retrospect that part of BDSM to me wasn't consensual. I was told what and how it was going to be. I had to obey. I had to except, it was my place. But now that the decision is solely Mine on my 'extra' play activities I have taken a closer look at the people around me I have decided that 'extra' real-time play partners aren't needed for Me (*excluding cyber). After all my collared Sub's meet all my needs .I want to make it clear. This choice is Mine I don't condemn the rest of My life style family, this choice is what suits Me and 'My two collared sub/slave" factors which entered into this decision were My children and there conception of BDSM/Femdom I want them to understand that is a loving act between loving caring people acting on a need to have power exchange in order to obtain relief, not the medias version of a cover for sexual abuse or a cozy blanket for domestic violence. I feel that to Me, by playing with others, I am sending my children the wrong message. I'm telling them that true love doesn't exist and that sex has no value and the in essence that a sub has no value. My children are now at an age (all under 9)where they hear and see things, they pick up threads of conversations and images (which may form their later views on sex). I want their decisions to based on what they see in My house, (not the hype) and by making this decision I have also provided affirmation to my subs that they have value. they have a huge place in my life. a place that cannot, and will not be replaced by the fly by niters or one night stands. Perhaps when my children are older I may reassess this decision but now I will live by it.
*Disclaimer in the advent that Jessica Alba or Mila Jovovich
are reading the above text please note this does not apply to you *evil grin*